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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28450779">i hope i never lose you (hope it never ends)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrestraynedrevolution/pseuds/unrestraynedrevolution'>unrestraynedrevolution</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Baekhyun-centric, ChanBaek - Freeform, Fluff, Happy New Year!, M/M, promise 'di 'to masakit parang kagat lang ng langgam, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>Filipino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:29:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28450779</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrestraynedrevolution/pseuds/unrestraynedrevolution</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun did not actually want to believe in love anymore after the breakup, as much as cliché and movie-like that thought was, but Jongdae's friend might have changed that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i hope i never lose you (hope it never ends)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>thought of this at 2am, half-drunk, while listening to Taylor Swift's Cornelia Street. </p><p>enjoy! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Baekhyun smiled and waved one last time bago isinara ang pinto. He opened the lights and Baekhyun loved the feeling of satisfaction engulfing him instead of loneliness after closing the door. The condo unit felt empty and lonely for Baekhyun kahit nasanay naman na siyang mag-isa lang. Maybe it was because being back in the Philippines made him miss sharing a space with <em>someone</em>.</p><p>Pero hindi ngayon. <em>Not tonight</em>. Baekhyun is smiling after he closed his condo unit's door and that smile continues to linger while he strips off his clothes and readies himself for a warm shower.</p><p>He has not felt this joy for what seems like a long time and as Baekhyun lays in his bathtub, recalling how nice it feels to hug the man he is with earlier and how pleasing his citrus scent is, Baekhyun thinks he deserves this.</p><p>After <em>that</em>, he deserves this. After all, it is not his fault why things turned out how it is right now. Hindi naman siya 'yung selfish, hindi siya 'yung immature. He deserves to be happy because he made the right choice.</p><p>He knows all those, but it does not mean it does not sting anymore when he thinks about Sehun and their three years of relationship down the drain because the latter is stubborn and inconsiderate and stupid and all things annoying for someone like Baekhyun.</p><p>He still misses him sometimes, though.</p><p>Lalo na after his first few days back in the country. Ang tanga lang pero inisip niya,<em> umasa siya</em>, na Sehun would be there to pick him up sa airport. It was Jongdae and Kyungsoo who were there to picked him up, of course, but he still searched for the tall, handsome, prince-like man in the crowd of placards. Nakita niya na sina Jongdae--who wouldn't, eh sobrang lakas ng <em>Baekhyun!!!</em> ni Jongdae while Kyungsoo was just standing there raising his black and yellow name placard while smiling--but he still looked for Sehun. S'yempre, it ended with disappointment.</p><p>The breakup was bad and messy. Sehun was angry and Baekhyun was crying. It was not the first time they fought, but not like <em>that</em>. However, thinking back, napadalas na rin ang away nilang dalawa months leading up to the breakup. Adult responsibilities and work ate them up both, pero lalo na si Baekhyun. Mataas kasi ang position ni Baekhyun sa company nila and of course, he was saddled with more stuff to do. Sehun was busy rin naman with work, but not as much as Baekhyun was; kaya punang-puna niya 'yung halos wala nang time si Baekhyun para sa kanya. Even their regular, <em>promise-me-you-won't-bail</em> dates got disrupted and cancelled because of the latter's work matters.</p><p>Sehun tried to understand--he did, for a while. But Baekhyun knew it was just a matter of time until Sehun would speak up about it. Aware siya na Sehun hated how their relationship changed because of Baekhyun's work but what could he do about it? Another thing, Baekhyun was and would always be work-centered; he had this infallible obsession with working hard kahit noong nag-aaral pa siya. Maybe that was another reason why he did not really address his and Sehun's problem; he just let the elephant in the room linger, suffocating them both, because he was too caught up with work to fix a relationship on the verge of destruction dahil lang hindi makaintindi ang boyfriend niya.</p><p>Baekhyun thought his promises of <em>next time, baby, I swear</em> and <em>sorry, I'll make it up to you</em> would suffice as bandaids for the cracks in their relationship, but it did not. He was booboo the fool for thinking he could say all those and have Sehun believe it every time; he was an even bigger fool for thinking that Sehun would understand and agree to a long distance relationship because Baekhyun just got promoted, at the cost of staying and working in Japan for a year. It was 15th of October then, sweldo, and they both did not have work the next day. They decided to have a fancy stay-at-home dinner with steak and wine and things were actually going well… that was, until Baekhyun told Sehun about the promotion, the set-up he wanted for their relationship, and <em>we can work this out, 'di ba?</em></p><p>Things went south from there.</p><p>"Ah. Leche," Baekhyun lightly slaps the water and closes his eyes, sighing. "Panira ng mood."</p><p>Baekhyun got up and dried himself. He hated how his mind drifted to that event again and reminded him of such a shitty relationship. Every waking day in Japan, along with getting used to the loneliness, Baekhyun had to repeatedly tell himself that he chose the right thing, that it was right to leave Sehun, that things were not entirely his fault. Gusto niyang maging successful and Sehun was restraining him from doing so. Hindi ba dapat sinuportahan siya ni Sehun instead of talking him down? Hindi ba dapat sa tagal ng relasyon nila, Sehun understood that he was and would never be Baekhyun's top priority? Baekhyun had always been that way; why would Sehun expect that he would put love first over work when he had to support his siblings' education and his parents' medicines?</p><p>Every day, for a year, Baekhyun reminded himself that Sehun was so far from perfect; he was not the one that suited him, that Sehun was selfish and greedy and childish and all things that would not suit an independent and workaholic person like he was. Every day, Baekhyun had to remind himself that Sehun was not for him; that he was not the one. And he managed to absorbed such, bit by bit, but even after a year and returning to his home country, there was still a small undeniable part of him that longed for that irrational, toxic, handsome man.</p><p>It's just the attachment that keeps him, Baekhyun thinks. Three years in words is short, but their memories are etched in his mind already. Sehun, despite the way he is, became Baekhyun's comfort zone at some point. Although he managed to pull himself out of that bubble, he is still, admittedly, scared to go out in the open fully.</p><p>If Jongdae did not drag him out of his condo three weeks after he came back, he would have probably drunk texted Sehun. Nabwisit na pareho sina Kyungsoo at Jongdae sa random rants ni Baekhyun sa groupchat nila so Jongdae decided it was time that Baekhyun got another dick instead of mulling over a past one. Jongdae claimed he knew this <em>awesome, amazing, talented, gwapo, at higit sa lahat, matangkad na type na type mo!</em> guy so Baekhyun followed his friend--partly because he just wanted to shut him up and well… he was also curious.</p><p>Despite admitting he is still a bit stuck with his feelings for Sehun, Baekhyun is not a wimp to not try and get out of it.</p><p>Things turned out better than he thought. Much, much better than he expected. And now, as Baekhyun finished his skincare routine, the memories of their fifth date earlier brought back his delight. Totoo nga ang description ni Jongdae sa kakilala niya: gwapo, matangkad, talented. The man also had a great sense of humor and Baekhyun swore he had never been that comfortable with someone romantically for a long time.</p><p>Add to the fact that the guy was very understanding, to the point that Baekhyun could not even believe it himself at first. He knew he was not totally over Sehun and he despised liars. So during their second date, after the tall, handsome, charming, almost perfect guy told him that he likes him, Baekhyun confessed he still had a bit of feelings left for his ex. Baekhyun thought the man would grimace at him, magw-walkout, ib-block ang number niya, maybe bash him online--but no. He just smiled, much too warm for Baekhyun's liking and enough to melt his heart, and said <em>I'll wait</em>.</p><p>The man brought a happiness in Baekhyun's life that even work accomplishments and promotions could not give him.</p><p>"Hoy," Baekhyun greets as soon as Jongdae picks up his call.</p><p>"Mag-aalas dose na tumawag ka pa," Jongdae huffs and a faint <em>babe, sino 'yan?</em> in the background followed. "Buti hindi pa kami nagsisimula ni Minseok or else you just cockblocked him."</p><p>Baekhyun laughs a little. "Gross, hindi ko kailangan malaman na you two were just about to have sex."</p><p>He's sure Jongdae just rolled his eyes. "So why the call? Emergency ba? Relapse kay Se--"</p><p>"Gaga, hindi," Baekhyun says and a soft smile forms on his face. "I just wanted to thank you."</p><p>"For what? I know I'm the <em>best</em> best friend in the world, pero why the sudden affection?"</p><p>Baekhyun looks at his reflection and after such a day out, he did not even look tired. "For introducing him. He's such a great guy."</p><p>"Ayie, <em>pota</em>," Jongdae laughs and Baekhyun heard fumbling sheets, probably the former getting up from bed. "Mahal mo na?"</p><p>"Parang ewan naman 'to," Baekhyun laughs and settles on his bed. "Speed? Haha. Not yet."</p><p>"<em>Yet</em>, huh," Jongdae sounds happy. "I'll leave you to it, then. Mukhang okay naman pala. I'm glad you two turned out well. Ang galing ko lang din talaga."</p><p>Baekhyun laughs again. "Yeah. What would I do without the great Jongdae Kim, 'no?"</p><p>"Right," Jongdae laughs too. "On a serious note, I'm really glad about this… I'm really glad for you. I've never heard you this happy in a long time. After… that, something changed in you, eh. You sound, dare I say, dead. But you sound lively now, just like that overjoyed, bright Baekhyun noong high school."</p><p>Baekhyun smiles. "Yeah. I could feel it too. I hope it lasts."</p><p>The call ended and Baekhyun turned his phone off. He thought about how the past dates with Jongdae's friend had been nothing but calming and gave him contentment. The man felt so soothing and comforting that Baekhyun really looked forward to seeing him after every exhausting week at work. He was happy, really, and he loved how he felt. A few minutes after, his phone buzzed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chanyeol ♥</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hey</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just settled sa bed and I'm thinkingggg</em>
</p><p>
  <em>See you next Saturday, ulit? :)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Baekhyun smiles.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You don't even have to ask.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He thought of Jongdae's question again.</p><p>Baekhyun did not actually want to believe in love anymore after the breakup, as much as cliché and movie-like that thought was, but Chanyeol might have changed that.</p><p> </p><p>Not yet, Jongdae. But I think I will.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hehe, hi. thank you for reading! this is the fastest oneshot i wrote, i think, because i finished it in just an hour!! last minute accomplishment this 2020, i think, haha! </p><p>this was actually supposed to be angsty, pero i wanted to end the year with something heartwarming. we've already had more than enough this year--both with the irl events and in my works na laging angsty!! hahahah sorry :( not sorry lmao. so ayuuuun, thank you for reading! </p><p>hope you enjoyed this fic! please do leave a kudos and a comment, if u want :D 'til next time! (っ◔◡◔)っ ❤</p><p>twitter: @saintskies</p></blockquote></div></div>
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